August 15, 2016

“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened… or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.” – Tupac Shakur

 

Recently I have been feeling stuck. I reply situations or scenarios in my head and try to justify in some sense that what I did was originally wrong and could have been better. There’s instances where I reanalyze situations that have happened weeks ago, and yet their presence is still potent like a rancid tv dinner left in the fridge.

I’ve spend nights dreaming about issues that should no longer affect me. I get nervous around people with whom I think I have made a fool of myself in front of, but I bet they have already forgotten about the whole incident.

My new goal is to learn to move forwards and to release all negative tension that I unconsciously allow to sink into my brain. These thoughts are too much like drugs. I feel that I cannot be a better person unless I have these thoughts to keep myself in line; however, I’ve finally reached a point of realizing how dangerous thinking abo9ut the past is for me. Now it’s time to forgive myself and free myself from the figurative ropes that have been tying myself back from reaching happiness.

Looking Towards the Sun

“What sunshine is to flowers, smiled are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but scattered along life’s pathway, the good they do is inconceivable.” – Joseph Addison

I’m searching for peace and happiness on this Friday afternoon as I sit in yet another cafe, drinking tea rather than coffee, and scroll through quotes about life, sunshine, and tranquility. After spending the past few days sulking from the recent news of the Orlando shooting, I’ve decided that instead of crawling further into my battered shell, finding happiness is the greatest way to learn to roll with the punches and prove to those who wish to see us fall apart, I still will rise in a new and well-formed casting.

In a rainstorm the most powerful sight is when a sudden shock of lightning illuminates the damaged night in a heat of life, a shock of radiance, a shock of power. I will chose to be lightning in a storm that threatens a flood. I, as many others, will shake the world and continue on as a beam of energy, glowing and remaining strong.